Quick A: Everyone by reading and applying the C++ standard.
Recently on SO:
The committee does not release any reference implementations. In the early days, things got standardized and then the tool developers went away and implemented the standard. This has changed, and now the committee looks for features that have been implemented and tested before standardization.
Also major developments usually don't go directly into the standard. First they become experimental features called a Technical Specification or TS. These TS may then be incorporated into the main standard at a later date.
You are free to write you own implementation of the C++ standard library. Plum Hall has a test suite (commercial, I have no connection, but Plum Hall are very involved with C++ standardization).
I don't see any issue with not being conformant. Almost all implementations have some extensions. Just don't make any false claims, especially if you want to sell your product.
If you're interested in getting involved, this can be done via your 'National Body' (ANSI for the USA, BSI for the UK etc.). The isocpp web site has a section on standardization which would be a good starting place.